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8.31.2003

Now it's official... 

*grumble grumble* I guess I'm a geek, but I'd still like to think I'm cute too! (And at least I'm not a hippie.)

You are 59% geek!

You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough.
Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Blog War Stats Lesson 

Based on the neutral analyses of The Truth Laid Bear (TTLB), two orders have been assigned for all members of The Alliance:

1. All Alliance members need to make sure that they are registered with the TTLB.

2. All Alliance members should start using sitemeter and MAKE THE STATS PUBLIC or TTLB will not be able to add your traffic count to the Alliance total.

Taking these steps will ensure that we have a quantitative method by which to measure our success, so get to it if you haven't already! That's your homework for today, kids! Have a great day!

PS: If you want full credit for this assignment, also be sure that you KEEP LINKING to other Alliance members.

8.30.2003

Look Out Zionist Infidels: Here Comes Allah 

Uh oh...I guess someone REALLY pissed him off this time.

Just when I thought it was safe to be an infidel with a blog, it looks like Allah Is In The House! Let's all tremble in fear!

Okay. Fear over. Back to work.

(Incidentally, that Allah is a pretty funny guy. Who'd have thought?)

Oh bother! I seem to be stuck in an Argentine prison! 

This sounds similar to an incident involving a silly old bear when he ate too much honey at Rabbit's house. You would think that someone would learn from what happened to Pooh...

Fat prisoner accidentally prevents mass escape

A planned mass escape from an Argentine jail backfired when a 16 stone prisoner got stuck. Roque Vivas got stuck in a 12ins hole dug in the ceiling by inmates of the prison at Rosario. Five prisoners had already escaped but another 24 were waiting behind Vivas for their turn. They ended up having to call prison guards to help their burly fellow convict, reports Las Ultimas Noticias.

A prison spokesperson said: "It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. This fat man was stuck from the waist down and shaking his legs.
"Then all the other prisoners looking really p***ed off because he stopped them from escaping."

The five men who managed to escape are still on the run.

Moral of the story: If you ever decide to break out of prison, make sure the fat one goes last.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Returns! 

Hillary blasts Bush for interfering at the E.P.A., which supposedly misled New Yorkers on Sept. 11 regarding air quality:

"I know a little bit about how White Houses work," she said. "I know somebody picked up a phone, somebody got on a computer, somebody sent an e-mail, somebody called for a meeting, somebody in that White House probably under instructions from somebody further up the chain told the E.P.A.: 'Don't tell the people of New York the truth.' And I want to know who that is."

Because we all know that George Bush was flying around the country on September 11th saying to his cabinet, "Hmm...we've just been attacked. There is debris blown across blocks and blocks of New York City. People can't find their family members and coworkers. I have an idea...let's tell everyone that the air outside is safe to breathe. I know it's not, but that will cheer 'em up!"

Rats! Hillary has foiled evil plot #203 of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: "Trick everyone into breathing deadly air! That will make America better! Muhuahuahuahua!"

Incidentally, here are some other notes regarding the EPA report that Clinton is bashing Bush over:

The report in question does not conclude whether the outdoor air around the World Trade Center after Sept. 11 was safe to breathe, but rather states that the issue "may not be settled for years to come."

In addition, the inspector general said the report found that "the EPA staff did a commendable job reacting to this unprecedented disaster."

8.29.2003

Reading Assignment for Today 

Here is today's reading assignment, courtesy of Frank J.:

Know They Enemy: Hamas

No, this won't be on the final exam, but extra credit will be given to those who laugh out loud and attract the attention of their coworkers or classmates.

Remember: Knowledge is power...
Also, remember: Absolute power corrupts absolutely...

So don't go messing around with absolute knowledge unless you want to be absolutely corrupted...or something like that.
Hmmph...just go start your reading assignment already!

More bizarre news from Germany 

Has anyone else noticed that all the weird news seems to come from Germany?

British soldier bites off German's ear

BERLIN (Reuters) - A British soldier stationed in Germany has bit a man's ear off after arguing with him in a bar, say police in the western city of Paderborn.

"The row flared up inside the bar and continued outside where the soldier bit the man's ear off," a spokesman for police said on Thursday. It was not known if the man was drunk.

Police arrested the 23-year-old soldier after the dispute on Tuesday morning, then turned him over to British military police. Emergency services rushed the injured man, 32, to a nearby hospital where surgeons re-attached his severed left ear.

A spokesman for the 1st UK Armoured Division told Reuters the incident was regrettable and was being investigated.

Although the incident involved a British soldier, it still happened in Germany. Maybe it's something about the air there? (Which is still no excuse for encouraging two world wars.) Should there be any doubt about just how crazy things can be in Germany, check out these articles describing their antics over the past several months:

  • Man Bites Off Girlfriend's Nose but Keeps Her Love
  • Man Cuts Off Own Penis to Cure Sex Addiction
  • German Wife Gives Husband's Penis the Chop

    Note to self: When in Germany, keep a close watch on all body parts.

    Yikes.

  • 8.28.2003

    Bush Born in Baghdad 

    Fox News knows just how to warm my heart:

    BAGHDAD, Iraq — It's a fair bet that one Baghdad baby won't run into anybody else in Iraq with the same name.

    An Iraqi couple has named their 6-week-old baby boy George Bush to show their appreciation for U.S. efforts to force Saddam Hussein out of power.

    "He saved us from Saddam and that's why we named our son after him," the baby's mother, Nadia Jergis Mohammed, told the Associated Press Television News. "It was George Bush who liberated us; without him it wouldn't have happened."

    Baby Bush was born July 11 to Mohammed, 34, and her husband Abdul Kader Faris, 41. His full name is George Bush Abdul Kader Faris Abed El-Hussein.

    If the couple had had twin boys, the father wanted to name the other baby Tony Blair, because he said both the U.S. and Britain liberated Iraq.

    Baby Bush has two older brothers, with the more traditional names Omar and Ali.

    The tiny boy's mother told APTN that all Iraqis hated Saddam's regime, and that President Bush freed them from his dictatorship. "If he hadn't done it the sons of Saddam would have ruled us for years," she said.

    As the woman did the interview, little George Bush screamed in his crib.

    And who says that the entire world hates us? There are some good folks out there who appreciate America. To Mr. and Mrs. Abdul Kader Faris, I say congratulations on your new arrival and I hope (as do many Americans) that little George grows up in an Iraq that never again knows the terror of living under someone as evil as Saddam Hussein.

    Things I Hate: France 

    French foreign minister calls for U.N.-mandated international force in Iraq

    Paris-AP -- France's foreign minister says what Iraq needs is a "real change in approach" -- in the form of an international force that's run by the U-N.

    Dominique de Villepin (doh-mee-NEEK' dih veel-PAN') has been an outspoken foe of the U-S-led invasion of Iraq. And he says merely increasing troops under U-S and British control isn't enough. He also called for the establishment of a U-N-backed provisional government in Baghdad.

    The United States has resisted calls for a commanding U-N role in Iraq. There are signs, however, that Washington might be willing to go along with a U-N-endorsed multinational force in Iraq if it is headed by an American commander.

    Reflecting the U-S reluctance to accept a leading U-N role in Iraq, former Pentagon adviser Richard Perle is quoted by a French newspaper (Le Figaro) as saying a U-N administration would be "a bad idea."

    Hmm...I don't know WHY this would be a bad idea. After the GREAT job that the U.N. did providing security to their building over there last week, I'd love to see this "change of approach" that the French Foreign Assclown is recommending. I have a feeling that the "change of approach" acceptable to France would probably involve throwing a "Welcome Back Saddam" party with lots of cheese and "whine," along with lots of nice white flags and possibly the burning of some American ones. I doubt it would involve much common sense or bathing.

    They can't even survive the heat in their own country so what makes them think they'd survive the 100+ temperatures in Iraq any better? Oh that's right...the French are ignorant fools. Sometimes I forget, but it's a good thing that they like to remind us of that fact every time they open their big, fat stinking mouths.

    8.27.2003

    My Brain Hurts 

    Long day at work. Did not have time to find good news. Sad. Need sleep. Can't write complete sentences when this tired. Hmm. Oh well. Not much to say, but how about if I leave you with a list? Here ya go:

    The Patriette's Favorite Expressions for Shock, Awe, Suprise, or Being Impressed:
    "Great googily moogily"
    "Holy cow"
    "Holy canoli"
    "Egads"
    "Holy moly"
    "Jeepers creepers"
    "Jinkies"
    "Jiminy crickets"
    "Yikes"
    "Cripes"
    "Whoa"
    "Wow"
    "Eek!"
    "Golly ned"

    Now you see the kindergarten teacher in me, dontcha? Heh heh heh. Nighty-night. Look forward to something a tad bit more interesting tomorrow after I get some rest.

    Egads, we've been had! 

    Annika has revealed her true self to us! I feel so betrayed! I feel so violated! I feel so...well, entertained and highly amused by her latest post. Go. Read. Laugh with glee.

    Poll Vaulting 

    Hey, for those of you who haven't looked to the right side of the screen recently, check it out! I've added a poll to my blog. Since everyone else is doing it, I thought I would too. I'm such a sucker for peer pressure sometimes.

    Five Questions 

    Here are my answers to five questions I received from Ith of Absinthe & Cookies:

    1] How long have you been online?
    Just today? Uh...1 hour and counting.

    2] What book/movie/TV show did you think you wouldn't be interested in, but finally read/viewed and found yourself pleasantly surprised?
    Seabiscuit. Not big on the whole horse racing thing, but I liked the message of the movie – which is “no one is too big to be a jockey.” *warm fuzzy feeling*

    3] If you could take your family, would you settle on another planet?
    No, nothing could make me want to live in California.

    4] What three CDs are you currently cranking up the volume and singing along to?
    Now, you are going to think I have multiple personalities, but here's what I have at the moment:
    1. Boston - Boston in my car.
    2. Three Doors Down - Away from the Sun in my walkman.
    3. George Strait - Clear Blue Sky in my computer.

    5] Looking back, is there someplace you thought you'd be, or something you'd be doing at this point in your life?
    Nope, I knew that I’d always end up here in Texas as an instructional designer working on terrorism preparation and response training even if I did spend those four years getting that degree in early childhood education. Everything I’ve done has been a part of my diabolical plan to expose and terminate stupidity and evil in the world, no matter where it lurks. It just so happens that there was lots of evil in kindergarten classrooms for awhile. I put an end to it there. Now most of the evil involves terrorists. So that’s what I’m trying to stop now. Kindergarteners are almost as ruthless and annoying as terrorists, only they aren’t half as stupid and they appreciate cookies much more.

    Mmmm...cookies.

    8.26.2003

    "F" the Women's Groups 

    Why I hate women's groups:

    Women's Groups Give Bush an 'F' on Iraq, Afghanistan
    WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Bush administration deserves a failing grade on ensuring rights and opportunities for women in Iraq and Afghanistan, U.S.-based women’s rights advocates charged at a Washington, D.C. press conference Tuesday.

    Releasing the first in a series of scorecards evaluating the administration’s performance on global women’s rights, health, and development issues, three prominent women’s groups chastised the administration for failing to follow through on its commitments to a broad range of global women's issues.

    Topping the list of issues for which the administration's actions have hurt, not helped, women are AIDS, family planning, and support for women’s equality and security in Afghanistan. As for post-conflict Iraq, it is too soon to tell how women will fare there, the speakers acknowledged, but preliminary signs are not positive.

    Feminist Majority Foundation (FMF) President Eleanor Smeal strongly criticized the Bush administration's Afghanistan policies, charging that inadequate funding for reconstruction efforts and reluctance to expand peacekeeping and security forces beyond the capital city, Kabul, have resulted in continuing instability and left Afghan women living in fear.

    What's wrong with Bush? I guess he's gotten a little busy with rebuilding the infrastructure of both Afghanistan and Iraq, hunting down terrorists, and removing sadistic governmental regimes. What has he been thinking? Doesn't he know that it's his job as U.S. President to make sure that little Iraqi girls get an education? Screw getting oil flow back to their country and the security of our military forces! Afghan women need equality damn it!

    And that Feminazi Majority whore has the gall to criticize Bush for causing continued instability and for leaving Afghan women living in fear. What the hell? Because back when they were getting stoned to death for picking up a book, things weren't so bad, right? Then big mean Americans with their big mean President had to come in and ruin the great equality and peace that those Afghan women enjoyed so much.

    Please remember that although they may claim so, these "women's groups" do NOT represent all of the women of the world. Grrr...

    Inquiring minds wanted to know... 

    In response to recent requests and a demand by Frank J. (our fearless leader in the Blog War), I've added a Who is The Patriette section. It may answer some of your questions about me and also gives you a face to put with all this witty and intelligent commentary.

    Blog War News 

    Speaking of lunch, Evil Glenn was spotted today and this is what he was eating:



    I guess yesterday's lunch wasn't evil enough for him. The horror if it all...

    If this disgusts you as much as it does me, then it is your solemn duty to join The Alliance.

    UPDATE: I think I fixed the photo. It wasn't working for part of the afternoon. I.JUST.LOVE.TECHNOLOGY. *grumble grumble*
    Making use of my lunch hour (plus or minus 15 minutes) to make the blog rounds and stumbled upon the latest from Rachel Lucas, another bright and witty Texas gal with a few great observations and comments regarding the completely ignorant decision by the major networks to virtually ignore the anniversary of one of the most horrific events in American history, certainly in our lifetime.

    Not that they come out every holiday season to remind us about how long Jon Benet Ramsey has been missing or crap like that. And we wouldn't want to miss FRIENDS, would we? Grr...

    Rachel said it right: DAMN THE MEDIA.

    This will help us all sleep better tonight 

    Aw man...first North Korea, now Iran. I thought they said they wouldn't develop nuclear weapons? What is the world coming to? Who can you trust anymore if you can't trust Iran?

    Arms-Grade Uranium Reported at Iran Plant

    VIENNA, Austria - U.N. inspectors have found traces of highly enriched, weapons-grade uranium at an Iranian nuclear facility, a senior diplomat said Tuesday, citing a report by the International Atomic Energy Agency.

    The find heightened concerns that Tehran may be running a secret nuclear weapons program.

    Agency inspectors found "particles" of highly enriched uranium that could be used in a weapons program at the facility at Natanz, said the diplomat, who covers the activities of the U.N. nuclear watchdog and spoke on condition of anonymity.

    The United States has accused Iran of developing a clandestine nuclear weapons program, violating the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty barring the spread of atomic weapons.

    Iran has denied the allegations, insisting its programs are devoted only to generating electricity.

    Iranian officials did not contest the finding by the IAEA inspectors but said the equipment was already contaminated by traces of enriched uranium when purchased by Tehran.

    Surprise, surprise.

    Bite-Sized Wisdom: Doesn't get soggy in milk. 

    I forgot to eat breakfast this morning, but luckily Frank J. posted today's Bite-Sized Wisdom. It makes me happy. Plus, it's lowfat - as long as you don't count his comments about Michael Moore. (No matter what the situation, Michael Moore is always fat.)

    Cheesy news of the day: It's so "gouda" - kind of like morphine only better tasting 

    This is from the AP:
    Avg. American Eats 30 Lbs. Cheese a Year
    Cheese is a source of calcium and protein, but the watchdog group Center for Science in the Public Interest worries that people are eating too much of it. Margo Wootan, director of nutrition at the center, said cheese is one of the fatty products contributing to the nation's obesity problem.

    "People think of (cheese) as a health food when really it's quite calorically dense, and it's just loaded with fat," Wootan said. An ounce of cheddar cheese contains 6 grams of saturated fat — about one-third of the government's recommended daily intake.

    Dr. Neal Barnard, president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, has a theory about why some people are eating more cheese. "It's addictive," said Barnard, who believes consumers would be healthier if they stopped eating meat and dairy products. Citing a 1981 study by Wellcome Research Laboratories in North Carolina and a 2000 study published in the British Journal of Nutrition, Barnard said cheese appears to be addictive because it contains casein, a fine milk protein that is found in products from chocolate to cosmetics.

    "Casein breaks apart in your digestive tract to release casomorphines," Barnard said. "These are opiates." The National Dairy Council said it doubts that cheese has a drug-like effect on people.

    This cheese-addiction theory explains a lot about why those reality-TV shows continue to exist, but saying that cheese has a "drug-like" effect on people? What the heck? From the wacko words of the nutrition nuts in this story, if I was Kraft, I'd be getting a lawyer. First, cigarettes, then McDonald's, next Kraft Macaroni and Cheese because it's as bad as smack!

    Where are the warning labels, people? I feel duped by the cheese industry because they didn't warn me that I'd be helplessly addicted to cheese! When will this downward spiral ever end?! I must get a pizza...NOW!

    Okay, maybe not. Sheesh.

    8.25.2003

    Hooray for Comments! 

    Gracias to Annika, who totally rocks for passing on the tip about switching to Blogspeak for my comments!!! Hopefully, this will be a little more reliable. Let me know what you think.

    I also added The Alliance seal to the side of my blog. "Ain't that purty?"

    I still need to figure out what the heck my specialty for the war effort will be.

    What makes my blog unique?

    Umm...it is really new. It's all patriotic and American and stuff. I'm cute, but Annika is too, so that's not completely unique. I'm right, but so is Frank J., so I'll just have to think about it for a bit.

    Also, I've had some inquiries about who I am, what I do, what I look like, why I'm so weird, etc. etc. My plan is to post a FAQ about me soon since it would seem that my blog traffic has gone from 5 visitors to 350 visitors within 3 days (whoa). I'll let ya'll know when I get that slapped together and throw a link on this blog to it so that inquiring minds can find out more.

    Sore Losers 

    The latest from the Texas Whiners:

    Absent Dems want assurances of no arrests

    ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- The 11 Texas Senate Democrats in self-imposed exile said today that Republicans should assure them they will not be arrested if they go home when the special session of the Legislature ends Tuesday.

    The senators have been in New Mexico since July 28, when GOP Gov. Rick Perry called a second legislative special session on congressional redistricting. He has vowed to call as many 30-day special sessions as necessary to draw new districts in Texas that would elect more Republicans to the U.S. House of Representatives.


    Hmm...let's say that I didn't like a decision that most of my coworkers made. In fact, let's say that 2 or 3 of my coworkers didn't like the decision either and instead of standing up and facing the music, we ran home and hid. Let's also say, I stayed home for a few weeks and didn't show up to work. Do you think I'd still have a job when I got back??? No, I'd be fired.

    Do these stupid Democratic legislators have any concept of what the heck they were elected to do? Yes, they represent their constituents, but by running away from the problem, they are

    A) wasting time and taxpayer dollars and
    B) ignoring the fact that the MAJORITY OF TEXANS are now Republican!

    You vote "no" to redistricting and sit your ass down and shut your trap. The rest of the legislature outvotes you and lookie there - it's representation in action! Yeah, that's right - we are NOT a freakin' democracy! Not everyone needs to have their say and in most cases, to prevent chaos, MAJORITY RULES. The legislators represent their areas, but in doing so, they have NO RIGHT to basically throw their middle fingers up to the rest of the state and hold up the legislative process and cost us money!

    The Democrats declared partial victory Monday, pointing out that they have stayed out of Texas for 29 days, far longer than the Republicans predicted.

    "To Rick Perry we say, 'Stand down from this pointless redistricting,'" said Sen. Leticia Van de Putte of San Antonio, chair of the Senate Democratic Caucus. "Stop wasting tax dollars in your attempt to steal through partisan redistricting what you could not accomplish in legitimate elections."

    Walt fired back that the Democrats are blocking more than redistricting in the Legislature.

    "When they walked out, they walked out on more than $800 million in funding for critical issues like trauma care and education," she said. "They need to come back to work."


    This is the biggest crock! The state has ALWAYS BEEN PARTISAN and lucky for the Democrats, it's been going their way for nearly 100 years now! Current district lines give DEMOCRATS more seats in the legislature (how fair is that?), but now, when more voters are clearly Republican, doesn't it make sense to represent the MAJORITY of voters by fixing the district lines?!?! For the Democrats to act as though partisanship is new is ridiculous.

    All of this proves my point that Texas Democrats are childish jerks. A few years ago, I made the mistake of going to an appearance by then-governor Bush in Democrat-dominated Corpus Christi, Texas. Not only did the mostly democrat audience boo and jeer him, but they shoved us, cursed at us, and even spit on us (the College Republicans) as we waited to see the governor speak. I don't care that they disagreed with my politics. Does that mean I had a right to spit on and harass them? No. But that's the mentality of these people. "If I don't like it, I can act like a big baby and whine until I get my way." I think we should let those brats rot in hell for all I care and throw them in jail the second they come back and step one toe back in this state. They are not brave - they are scared because they realize that Texas is coming around, common sense is winning out, and we won't tolerate those who turn tail and run when the going gets tough. We want real leaders - not whiners and sore losers anymore.

    8.24.2003

    Grrr...internet...grr... 

    I am grateful to Jeremy and Dave who pointed out that my comments system wasn't working this weekend. Grr...internet...grr. Just when people start to take notice of my blog too! *sigh* Anyhoo, I checked on it and it seems that the third party folks who host the comments system I'm using are upgrading their server, so until further notice, my comments section might or might not be working. If it doesn't work, I assume it will be fixed soon. In the meantime, I will look around for an alternative system so if things don't come around shortly, I'll go ahead and set up my comment system some other way. One day, maybe I'll have a server of my very own, but until then, I am at the whim of others with more resources than myself.

    Time to catch up on my emails and, if I ever get done with work-stuff tonight *work---grumble, grumble*, I have a few things to post regarding news events over the weekend. If I don't get to it tonight, I'll get to it tomorrow. I left town for 1 day this weekend and I returned home to fairly full email inbox! Yay! Thanks to those of you who emailed me shooting/firearms info. Your advice is GREATLY appreciated!!! More to come later...

    8.22.2003

    Don't have to be me 'til Monday 

    I am tired of work. I haven't done anything fun in more than a month. Actually, I haven't done anything besides work and sleep on my weekends since July 4th. That's too long. I am headed to San Antonio this weekend to visit my best friend. We'll go out to eat, talk about boys, do eachother's hair, then complain about how stupid liberals can be and how most of the world is filled with assclowns. Then, we might talk about boys again. Fun times. I love weekends.

    From Reuters:

    Israel Kills Two Militants in West Bank Hospital

    NABLUS, West Bank (Reuters) - Israeli troops shot and killed two Palestinian militants inside a West Bank hospital on Friday, extending a new spiral of violence that has smashed a cease-fire vital to a U.S.-backed "road map" peace plan.

    The killings came as tens of thousands of angry Palestinians calling for revenge marched in the funeral of Ismail Abu Shanab, a U.S.-educated Hamas leader who was assassinated by an Israeli helicopter missile strike in Gaza city on Thursday.

    Islamist militant groups called off a seven-week-old cease-fire after Israel killed Abu Shanab in an attack that followed a Hamas suicide bombing -- a relapse into tit-for-tat bloodshed that doomed previous peacemaking.

    "We love martyrdom and we seek martyrdom," Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi, another senior Hamas political leader who survived an Israeli assassination attempt in June, told the crowd as it chanted, "Revenge, revenge!"

    Hmm...according to this "unbiased" article (yeah, right), Israel is "extending a new spiral of violence." Just a few comments:

    -I don't think there is ANYTHING NEW about the violence over there.

    -THE CEASE-FIRE WAS NOT CALLED OFF IN RESPONSE TO THE DEATH OF ABU SHANAB - there never WAS a cease-fire when it came to Hamas and the attack on that bus in Israel was the exclamation point on that fact.

    -This is not a "spiral of violence" - it is military action in an effort to STOP the terrorist tactics of the Palestinians.

    From the Department of Justice (with my comments in bold):
    “Terrorism is the unlawful use of force or violence, or threatened use of force or violence, (say, a suicide bomber) against persons and places (a bus full of children) for the purpose of intimidating and/or coercing a government, its citizens, or any segment thereof for political or social goals (social goal being the destruction of the Jewish state of Israel).”

    No matter how you spin it, Hamas and everyone who supports the murder of those Israeli children this week are TERRORISTS!
    I hope Israel gives them "martyrdom" and blows those sick bastards off the face of the planet. I'll sleep better tonight knowing that today, the "cycle of violence" over there has included the extermination of useless vermin from taking any more of my oxygen thanks to the courage of the Israeli military.

    Step #1372 on the "Road Map to Peace" - Jews must return silverware 

    So this is why there is no peace in the Middle East!

    Egyptians may sue Jews over the Exodus

    CAIRO, Aug. 21 (UPI) -- A dean at Egypt's University of Al-Zaqaziq is preparing a lawsuit against "all the Jews of the world," accusing them of stealing gold during the exodus.

    The university's dean of law, Nabil Hilmi, told the Egyptian weekly newspaper Al-Ahram Al-Arabi the Jews during the exodus "stole from the Pharaonic Egyptians gold, jewelry, cooking utensils, silver ornaments, clothing and more ..."

    Asked why cooking utensils might have been taken, Hilmi said "... this had been the Jews' twisted way throughout history; they seek to cause a minor problem connected with the needs of everyday life so as to occupy people with these matters and prevent them from pursuing them to get back the stolen gold ..."

    Sometimes the stupidity that exists in the world blows my mind away.

    8.21.2003

    I love the smell of traffic in the morning... 

    ...the smell of traffic for my blog, that is, and the lack thereof for those of the monkey-loving, communist, puppy-blending Axis forces. Although completely unworthy and incredibly inexperienced in the ways of war, I have been added to the growing list of those taking part on the side of good in the The Blog War. In return for this great honor, I will be adding some links and saying more about The Alliance and my view of things soon.

    For now, there is a big, loud thunderstorm outside and I'd better turn off my computer before the bad wiring in my cheap apartment allows my computer to be fried by lightning. Until I can post more, check out Frank J.'s comments from earlier this evening and of course, The Alliance site for important info.

    Former Kindergarten Teacher With a Gun? 

    So in talking to my friend at lunch today, I've decided that since I am now officially a single female living on my own, I need to learn how to defend myself. I had my tires slashed outside my apartment two months ago and just last month, there was a "hostage" incident at the complex next to mine. Even my Dad said that learning how to protect myself would be good.

    I've checked into martial arts or self-defense classes or stuff like that, but I thought I'd start at the top and learn how to shoot first (then I'll ask questions later).

    Yeah, I support the second amendment and I am very happy to be living in Texas where we seem to appreciate that right more than in some other places, but silly me has never taken advantage of that fact. SHAME SHAME SHAME on me. But not for long. You have to start somewhere right?

    My whole life I've either had my Dad, roommates, or boyfriends who knew how to defend themselves and/or me. Now that I'm all "growed-up" and all alone *sniff*, it's time for me to learn how to fire something besides water at anyone that tries to mess with this former kindergarten teacher.

    If you have any tips on where a clueless gal can learn how to shoot a gun, please let me know. I'm going to start off by calling my local firearms sales/training center this afternoon. Hopefully, once they stop laughing at me for being so ignorant, they will be able to help.

    So look out ya'll. Yee haw! The Patriette's gonna learn how to use a gun. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

    4 Weeks to Go! 

    Hmm...in reading my blog, I realized just how angry and bitter I sound. I am honestly not that angry and bitter. (Who can be angry and bitter all the time with elves in Minnesota?) Not that anyone in the world cares (but this is my blog so I can say whatever the heck I want to), but I GET TO GO ON VACATION FOUR WEEKS FROM TOMORROW.

    Why does it seem whenever you arrange to take a real vacation, it automatically means that until you get to leave on that vacation, you are slammed with more work than you've ever gotten before? For 6 months, I've been developing a terrorism preparedness/response course for the DHS. They've been putting off and putting off and putting off the testing of this class for months, but when do they FINALLY schedule the class? So that it happens right before my vacation. Grr. At least by the time my trip comes around, I'll be needing a vacation.

    And I'm going to Minnesota. Yeah...I know, it ain't the Bahamas, but it has three things going for it so far:
    1. In September, the temperature should be much more pleasant in Minnesota than in Texas.
    2. I'll be visiting a good friend who I haven't seen in years while he's on leave (he's in the army and been stationed in Korea for more than a year).
    3. This week I found out they have elves up there. You have to look forward to a trip to Minnesota when you might see elves!

    Yippee! Just gotta keep telling myself: MUST DO WORK. VACATION GETTING CLOSER. MUST DO WORK. Only 4 more weeks! Yay!

    With a Truce Like That, Who Needs One? 

    Militant Groups Say Truce Dead After Israeli Strike

    Why this is stupid:
    Oh I don't know...maybe the truce was dead THE MOMENT THAT HAMAS BLEW UP A BUS WITH FAMILIES AND CHILDREN ON IT.
    What I wouldn't give to bitch-smack the fools in the media (reuters) who reported this ridiculous announcement from those terror groups as some big revelation.

    8.20.2003

    I haven't seen anything good on the news about our troops for the most part. Fox News is about the only news program I can watch these days without getting the severe urge to reach through the TV and strangle the reporters (instead, I just want to smack the Fox News people sometimes - ha ha). I am still addicted to knowing what's going on in the world though, but mostly, I have been using the internet to get my news. It still seems biased sometimes, but at least I can go to a variety of sources to get a better picture of events.

    For example, the only time I seem to hear about Korea is when North Korea is threatening us or when a bunch of stupid students are protesting against us over there. It took searching for news on the internet for me to discover that just the other day, a bunch of South Korean veterans organizations got together and staged a big PRO-AMERICA/PRO-U.S. MILITARY rally in Seoul! Does our news cover that?

    No.

    We only get to see news about how everyone hates America and hates our military everywhere else in the world and how we've gotten ourselves into a "quagmire" (barf) - just as the communist journalists of the mainstream media want us to see things. They THINK they are being "open-minded" and "unbiased" --- unbiased my *^&%$@!

    The mistake the major American media organizations make is that they try so hard to be "international" and "global" in their perspective. I say %#@&* THAT! THIS IS AMERICA! I would expect that in France, if you watched French TV, that you might detect a little "Pro-French" tone or maybe their journalists would emphasize the French perspective (as idiotic as that perspective may be - ha ha). The same for Britain or Austrailia or China or heck, even Timbuktu!

    But here, our arrogant-windbag American journalists think they are being so "worldly" and "open-minded" when they go and interview our enemies and those that hate America. Oooo...gotta get that "other" perspective. Then the media complains when they get killed in the cross-fire while our troops are over there RISKING THEIR LIVES EVERYDAY to defend our freedoms and take out those threats to our country. Don't those idiots know that it's OUR SOLDIERS preserving their FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS to be jerks and write and say all the garbage they spew out??? Or, even better---when the stupid media reveals our intelligence and military secrets, putting our guys in danger. Gotta love that! GRRRR... The news isn't news anymore, it is spin-doctoring, pure and simple - it is the truth twisted to send any message the media elite decides to make up for the week.

    Barf.

    Yay for the internet and the freedom to get my information from some place besides MSNBC, ABC, CBS, CNN or any of those other annoyingly-biased, spin-doctoring, "international perspective" sources!!!

    Ah...it felt good to vent about that...heh heh heh. Time for sleep.

    Blind Fury 

    Hmm...must get used to posting tirades on my blog instead of annoying my friends with them via email. Isn't that why I started this in the first place?

    Anyway, the latest thing that has gotten my attention is a CNN slide show of photos from the suicide bombing in Israel yesterday. You can check it out here.

    The first thought that came to mind: CHILDREN. CHILDREN DYING. CHILDREN SENSELESSLY SLAUGHTERED BY TERRORISTS.

    After that, I could not think of anything as the rage that clouded my mind became too much.

    My message to that terrorist: I hope you are swimming in your own excrement in the lowest regions of hell and that you are tortured by the screams of those you killed for the rest of eternity!

    Grrrrrrr…

    8.19.2003

    Not only a killer, but also racist... 

    Does this mean he can be convicted of "hate crimes" too for using race/nationality as a motivation to kill and harm people? Not that getting convicted of murder won't be enough, but I can't complain about anything that we add to his list of crimes that will make it more likely for this bastard to be removed from existence.

    Documents: Sniper Suspect Was Anti-U.S.

    MANASSAS, Va. — Sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad (search) espoused racist and anti-American views and said "America got what it deserved" on Sept. 11, 2001, according to a court filing made public Monday.

    The documents also indicate that Muhammad was an unindicted co-conspirator on a federal charge of passport fraud (search) in December 2002, that he mugged an elderly man in Arizona in 2002, and that he was responsible for a February 2002 killing of a woman in Washington state.

    The accusations against Muhammad were filed by prosecutors as part of a "notice of unadjudicated conduct," a list of bad acts that prosecutors may use against Muhammad at sentencing if he is convicted of the Oct. 9 shooting of Dean Harold Meyers outside a Manassas-area gas station. Muhammad faces a possible death penalty.


    8.18.2003

    An Educational System Full of Whiners 

    Warning: Rant Ahead

    Once again, I am reminded of why I left teaching. It wasn't the kids, it wasn't the low pay, it wasn't the long hours, or even the lack of respect. IT WAS THE WHINING (and not from the kids, but from the adults)! Why is it that everyone thinks that money will solve all the problems in education? There are a variety of factors holding back our educational system.

    First, there is a lack of incentive for teachers to do well at their craft. In most other jobs, you are rewarded for doing your best. In teaching, much like prison, the benefits only get better the longer you serve time. As a first-year teacher, I could bust my butt and have all my kids reading above grade level and ready to take over the world, all for what? To look across the hall and see Mrs. "Union-backing-I-don't-care-anymore-using-the-same-lessons-since-1970" make 2-3 times as much as me because she's hung around for 20 years. What a crock! If you are a teacher and you can't teach anymore, you should not be teaching. Do the unions support the concept of rewarding good teachers regardless of years-of-experience? No. They are afraid of it. The unions HAVE RUINED OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.

    Let's see...what else is bringing us down? Hmm...how about the feel-good crap they force on kids these days? Everyone complains that schools are short on money, but when you have funds going towards liberal-touchy-feely curricula, what else can you expect? All of this big push to give students choices, let them "explore" what they want to be, and "make them feel confident" might be nice and pleasant in kindergarten but after that and especially in our high schools, give it up already. WE WONDER WHY AMERICANS ARE NOT READY FOR THE JOB MARKET? Do you really think that most bosses in corporate America really care if you are confident and if you believe in yourself? NO. They want practical skills - reading and writing come to mind. Maybe even *gasp* mathematics! "But wait, my kid doesn't like math - it makes him 'feel bad' because he doesn't do well in math!" Oh gee...I'm sorry...WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, JUNIOR! LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! You are going to have to do crappy things in life so you might as well get started doing it in school.

    I think we all liked finger painting and band or football, but can all of us use those skills to succeed as adults? NO. So stop shoving all the feel-good, flowery crap onto kids and pissing money away on it. Start holding them accountable for BASIC, EMPLOYABLE, NECESSARY skills.

    Ooo...quite a soapbox on that from me, but what can I say? It's back to school time and it just got me all riled up for a minute. Ah the memories. I need to go buy a new box of crayons for old time's sake...

    So THIS is where they make the cookies! 

    Although I can't quite put my finger on it, I'd be willing to bet that this is in someway related to how Jesse Ventura was elected governor of Minnesota. Hmm...

    MINNEAPOLIS - "Mr. Little Guy was nowhere in sight this early August evening, so Shira stuffed her letter behind his door at the base of a hollowed out ash tree. It's always open, and always full — of letters, pens, flowers and coins.

    The elusive elf has enchanted Twin Citians ever since the 6-inch wooden door appeared eight years ago, just off a walking path around popular Lake Harriet. Double takes led to messages, and messages to answers — and somehow Mr. Little Guy keeps up, responding to the queries in typed notes half the size of business cards.

    Some of his notes are left in the tree for children to find; others, if he has an address, are mailed. So many children visit that a patch of grass once leading to Mr. Little Guy's door is now powdery dirt. A flower bed bordered by stone surrounds one side of the tree.

    Shira is headed to kindergarten, and she's a big believer. But parents are smitten, too.

    "I think it's darling," said Susan Scofield, Shira's mother. "I think it's magical."

    Said Shira's dad, Jeff Rabkin: "The really amazing thing is that here it is, in a public space all this time, and it hasn't been debated before the City Council! Nobody has chopped the tree down!"

    Dave West and his son, Oliver, recently pedaled their bikes over to the elf's house. Oliver wanted to know how Mr. Little Guy survives and posed several theories. The 8-year-old figured there must be a bedroom and kitchen behind the brown door. Maybe even a long ladder running along the inside.

    "A minnow could feed him for a week," he declared.

    In an interview, the local man behind Mr. Little Guy said he gets 1,500 notes a year and answers all of them himself. While that give-and-take fuels his creative side, it's not so easy to do with a wife and young daughter, said "Thom," who spoke on condition of anonymity.

    But he always responds, with a childlike directness of his own.

    "dear bobby," says one response, typed in Mr. Little Guy's preferred lowercase. "i am taller than my younger brother and shorter than my older brother. i am fifty-one. i like soccer but i love elfball. i played yesterday, with a bunch of elves."

    It can be a big chore being Mr. Little Guy. He said he never meant his little house to attract so many youngsters — it was just a secret place for him and his family, at first. His wife originally spotted the tree opening and thought it would make a great place for an elf family.


    I wonder what the rules are for "elfball"?

    8.17.2003

    Got Your Nose! 

    This gives a whole new meaning to that little game where you say, "I've got your nose!":

    BERLIN (Reuters) - A woman in Germany says she still loves her boyfriend even though he bit her nose right off.

    Judge Beatrix Homann said on Thursday her court in the western city of Hanover had sentenced the 26-year-old man to 18 months in jail for the assault, but that his partner, 50, had forgiven him.

    "I still love this man," the judge quoted the woman, who has had six operations to build a synthetic nose, as saying at the hearing on Tuesday.

    "He was just drunk," Homann told Reuters.

    On your mark, get set, go 

    Well, it took all freakin' night to slap this thing online, and dinky though it may be, I finally have a blog. Yay! My own place to vent about, respond to, scream because of, laugh at, make fun of, and discuss whatever the heck I want to!

    Of course, nothing comes to mind right now but that is because I have managed to fry my brain and my eyeballs by spending the whole evening figuring out how to set this thing up. I am done now. Will write more later.

    Now, time for sleeeeeeeeep. Zzzzzzz...

    *look out world, I've arrived*
    *sounds of evil laughter*

    8.16.2003

    So it begins... 

    "Sure I wave the American flag. Do you know a better flag to wave? Sure I love my country with all her faults. I'm not ashamed of that, never have been, never will be."
    -- John Wayne